There was a ...

Now for a set of traditional "there was a ... " limericks from me. 

There was a young glutton from Hayle
Who ate all his food from a pail
Said his mother "Just wait
There's enough on the plate"
Said he "I could still eat a whale"

There was a young Pole came from Stettin
Whose fiancée objected to pettin'
"Stop being a prude
You look great in the nude
And anyway I'll see what I'm gettin'"

There was a young lady called Nancy
Who no one when sober could fancy
She was built like a tank
And what's more she stank
So getting up close was too chancy

And finally a Nantucket one:

The was a young girl from Nantucket
Hit hard on the head by a bucket
As her head rolled away
All her boyfriend could say
Was "you should have tried harder to duck it"

A happy New Year to everyone