Animal Stories

The first animal story concerns one Gérard de Nerval a 19th-century French poet. He had a pet lobster called Thibault, who, it is rumoured, he took on a walk in the garden of the Palais Royal in Paris. The story is probably apocryphal, and whole thing is explored in detail in the Museum of Hoaxes website.
So:
 

The lobster he’d bought for a lark

To take it for walks in the park
It was such a shame
Just not quite the same
If only he’d taught it to bark

The next two are a sort of reflection on the human condition. The first is anon as far as I can tell, the second comes from Ranjit Bolt's book referred to in the introduction.

Said an envious, erudite ermine,
"There's one thing I cannot determine;
When a dame wears my coat,
She's a person of note;
When I wear it, they label me vermine!"

Two bugs were discusing Man's Evil
Whether it was acquired or primeval
"I've no views on that head"
The wiser one said
"I'm just thankful I'm only a weevil"

Sometimes ascribed wrongly to Ogden Nash, but actually by Dixon Lannier Merritt, an American newspaper editor, poet and humourist, this limerick is great example of the form.

A wonderful bird is the pelican 
His bill will hold more than his belican
He can take in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I'm damned if I see how the helican

The last two are a) silly and b) a tongue twister. The first comes from the Brownielocks website, the second is by Ogden Nash, the great American humourist. 

Amazingly, antelope stew
Is supposed to be better for you

Than a goulash of rat
Or Hungarian cat;

But I guess that you probably gnu.

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue. 

Edward Lear

Probably the best known limericist is Edward Lear, who in 1846 published his "First Book of Nonsense". He didn't call his verses limericks though they follow the form more or less precisely.
There are 212 of them and they follow a particular style not much used today, in that the 5th line is,  unlike modern limericks, less of a punchline and more of a recapitulation of the previous lines. So:

There was an Old Person in Gray,
Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
She purchased two Parrots,
And fed them with Carrots,
Which pleased that Old Person in Gray.

The last line of this very well-known one is, however, more like today's form. The last few words of lines 1 and 5 are nearly always the same.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said 'It is just as I feared! -
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'

So lacking a conventional punchline, the last line is an anticlimax which gives the verses their particular attraction. Arguably his most famous poem is "The Owl and the Pussy-cat":

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey,
and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely Pussy!
O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!'

It's not strictly a limerick of course, and it has 2 more verses (Wikipedia has them). However I couldn't resist the thought of them spending the £5 and running out of money. Hence: 

Said the Owl to the Pussycat "I vote
That's it's time to sell the green boat
They'd have got a lot more
Than three pounds ninety-four
If the damned thing had managed to float

 Lear's books of nonsense poetry were popular in the 19th century, and encouraged many others to use the limerick form. Many modern limericks are rude; indeed there is a school of thought that holds that clean limericks are second-rate. Lear's limericks are never rude.

Shakespeare ...

Our Will used the limerick form several times in his plays. These are not limericks in the "traditional" sense, but he uses the form for various songs. The one most often quoted is from Othello Act 2:

And let me the canakin clink, clink;
And let me the canakin clink.
A soldier's a man;
A life's but a span;
Why, then, let a soldier drink.

It strikes me that this has an Omar Khayyam feel about it. It reminds me of, for example, quatrain 37, which coincidentally has a similar metre to a limerick:

Ah, fill the cup - what boots it to repeat
How time is slipping underneath our feet:
Unborn tomorrow, and dead yesterday,
Why fret about them if today be sweet!

Two other songs in limerick form come from Hamlet Act 4, sung by Ophelia, after going mad and before committing suicide. One intriguing aspect of this is that the songs are about a girl presumably being deflowered. In her mad scene Ophelia gives away flowers including rue and wormwood, both of which were used in abortions, implying that Hamlet was responsible.

By Gis and by Saint Charity,
Alack, and fie for shame!
Young men will do't,
if they come to't;
By cock, they are to blame.

Quoth she, before you tumbled me,
You promised me to wed.
So would I ha' done,
by yonder sun,
An thou hadst not come to my bed.

A final thought to bring the reader back to earth:

Our Will had a way with a quill
We go to his plays even still
To follow the plot
Demands quite a lot
But his quill still gives us a thrill

The First One

According to Wikipedia the earliest authentic limerick is a prayer ascribed to Thomas Aquinas, the highly influental Catholic theologian and philosopher. The limerick was written, naturally, in Latin.
 

Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio

Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,

Caritatis et patientiae,

Humilitatis et obedientiae,

Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.

 

The literal translation is:

Let it be for the elimination for my sins, 

For the expulsion of desire and lust, 

[And] for the increase of charity and patience, 

Humility and obedience, 

As well as all the virtue.

It doesn't scan in this form so I thought I would take a liberty or two and try to more or less follow the right form, with perhaps a touch of humour:

Please help me to conquer my lust

And expel my desire I must

Charitable and patient

Humble and obedient

Ever virtuous – I think I’ll go bust

Political ...

By contrast there seems to be no reason why limericks can't be used for making political points. They are probably best used for poking fun at ineptitude. They will of course enjoy a short life.

For instance, the recent flooding in the North has done little to enhance the reputation of the Environment agency for water management. One bright spark apparently claimed that the flood defences were working quite well.  Presumbly the water had no right to go over the top. So:

All hail to to the wondrous EA
The masters of bodge it and pray
All of that water
Shouldn't have oughter
Won't somebody take it away?

After the obligatory quasi-royal visit I can imagine Cameron convening a meeting of his advisors at which one brain comes up with an idea.

Said Cameron "now listen up you lot
I just love the idea that he's got
What we shall do
Is set up a review
And spin it out longer than Chilcott"

And:

What we need is clearly a rethink
Northerners won't tolerate much more stink
But Osborne won't pay
So all I can say
Is push off to Annie's for a stiff drink